Annals of Neuroscience

Today, for the second time in the past 2 weeks, I walked away from my car in the parking garage without my umbrella even though it was pouring rain outside. Why? It's not raining in the parking garage my mind told me.

We were out at dinner Saturday night with French people. They were talking about their trip to Long Island and we were asking about flora and fauna. They said they saw some dolphins in the water. Trying to make conversation while seeming culturally inquisitive, I thought 'I'll ask them 'how do you say 'dolphin' in French?' But before I could ask, the woman said they also saw a seal. So my brain quickly switched to 'how do you say 'seal' in French?' The answer turned out to be what sounded like 'fuk' (I have since learned that it is spelled 'phoque' but still sounds like 'fuk'). I'm pretty sure I had heard that at some point in my life, what with my connoiseurship of stupid shit that makes me giggle. But the question is -- when she mentioned dolphins, was my brain already reaching for that far away memory of 'phoque' which her mention of seals then propelled to the cortex??

Cornell

As I lay on the living room floor Friday racked with waves of nausea and abdominal cramping (stomach flu + another busted bracket) watching Cornell dismantle Temple, it was clear this team had serious talent. Can they beat Kentucky? If they can play KU to the wire in Lawrence, they can definitely beat Kentucky in upstate NY. And if they beat the best team left in the tourney, what's next? [editor's note: Cornell's last loss was 2/12...to, at the time, 3-15 Penn]

Elephant, cat, mouse

In our ongoing quest to improve upon rock, paper, scissors (seriously ... paper beats rock??), we may have stumbled on a winner: I give you Elephant, cat, mouse. Elephant of the downgoing, waggling index finger; cat of the side-turned fist and oscillating pinkie; and mouse of the one-handed air quotes. You intuitively know what beats what (though Dad messed up mouse beating elephant. Maybe that's counterintuitive but still true somehow). There's not supposed to be anything obscene here so if you find anything, that's on you.

C'mon Scott Brown

Shut your pie hole! He's on record this morning saying the Dems, in their singleminded pursuit of healthcare reform, are ignoring the real need -- job creation. Seriously, come on dude. You're in office a week and you're already a master panderer? Except you're not a master because master pandering still needs to have some subtlety. On the other hand, it may be even more masterful in its retardacity b/c it made me almost drive off the road. And, maybe, just maybe, Obama will take the bait and say "Dude, that's absurd" at which point his words will be spun as "condescending" to the upstart populist underwear model. Barry -- don't take the bait!

You Be Google - VI

Why do

1) men have nipples?

2) dogs eat poop?

3) cats purr?

4) men cheat?

5) we dream?

6) cats knead?

Update

Owie is 8! (and has been for 4 days) Can you believe it?

I was getting sick of Apolo Ohno and his gold tipped gloves and his 'triumphantly holding up fingers matching number of medals' laps. C'mon dude, this is America. We want gold. Setting the eighth medal record with a bronze is great but lose the boasting victory lap. Need I remind you that Michael Phelps won like 7 golds stoned and barely pumped a fist.

I have now rented Tombstone twice for a total of 10 days in the past 3 weeks and haven't seen it yet. Yes, I'm the last person on earth without tivo/dvr or netflix and am being punished for it daily. You should openly mock me. Speaking of movies and mocking, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' was on the other night and I got O to start watching it. He was totally sucked in but was trying to deny it partly I think b/c it's black and white. This Avatar generation...I just don't understand it.

But O can go old-school, too. For example, he listens to a DVD of 'English idioms' where voice actors with perfect enunciation say things like "Jane says she's not feeling well today. I think she's a little bit under the weather." A while back, Julie and I were having words and O told us to "bury the hatchet."