Orioles update

June 10th -- the O's shut out the Rays 7-0, bringing them just shy of the .500 mark at 30-31. Considering they had already suffered an 8-game losing streak earlier in the year, this seemed like cause for celebration.

today, July 17th -- the O's are 38-54, meaning they went 8-23 over the past 31 games, including a 9-game skid that spanned the All-Star break, including the brutal 4-game sweep at the hands of the red sux leading into the break.

What is the anatomy of an 8-23 stretch? For a young team without an over-abundance of talent, 10 straight road games against three of the hottest teams: Braves, Rangers, r-sux is the biggest factor. Also, not having a shut-down starter to trot out there every 5th game means the losing tends to pick up momentum after a while.

The goal at this point is to not *totally* go in the tank, proving to Prince Fielder or other marquee free agents that the Orioles have some fight. Back-to-back wins over the Indians and re-signing JJ Hardy are steps in the right direction. Boston comes to town tomorrow...

look what was happening in the 70s...

I heard this song on Sirius the other day and remember being creeped out by it as a 6 year old. Time has not blunted its creepiness. I'm guessing this was the peak of the quaalude era based on the glassy-eyed stares of the band members.

At Da Movies

Cyrus -- definitely worth a netflix. Jonah Hill like you've never seen him before. John C. Reilly ugly but compelling. 3 stars and at 89 minutes, can still start at 9:30.

Cars 2 -- hmmm... I'll leave this one to Owen: he loved it. But claims not to have liked Cars even though he owned 2 copies and watched it 30 times. Other things Owen will implausibly deny: that he's ever sleeping and that he went in the bathroom and trimmed his bangs with our scissors. Hmmm, O, then whose blond hair is this in the sink?? we'll never know...

Cedar Rapids -- another 3-star, 89 minute film with John C. Reilly. You will *love* him as Deansie. Ed Helms goes a little over the top and the near-ending gets a little goofy but you will enjoy Hangover meets Fargo.

Westvill E. Coyote

I decided to pass by home on my way from YNHH to WHHC last Thursday, only to spot the Notorious W.E.C. (Westvill E. Coyote) prowling our very own Cleveland Road. He looks to be a teen, which of course makes him even more unpredictable. Unconfirmed reports: an animal control officer either tried to lure him with a turkey sandwich or -- Owen's hypothesis -- threw the turkey sandwich at him as a threat. He also was apparently spotted on top of a building downtown? This building may be part of a construction site where more people are throwing food at him.

Westside High Reunion

Look how happy these guys look to be reunited

Will's guide to keeping your weiner out of the gossip pages

(1) Do NOT under any circumstance photograph your weiner.
(2) If, for some foolish reason, you violate rule #1, do NOT, under any circumstance, transmit pics of your weiner via text, email, internet, etc. If you feel compelled to show friends, family, dates, passersby the picture of your weiner, do so only on the device with which it was taken. Then destroy it (the picture).
(3) Do NOT make movies featuring your small weiner (I'm looking at you ... very quickly and then turning away...Ken Jeong)

Stay Classy, Mom

Julie, O and I were riding back in the car after our training bike ride Saturday (what are we training for and why do we drive a car to go biking?..stay tuned...), when I heard the opening strains of AC/DC on the radio. Now, AC/DC is a perfectly acceptable classic rock band that cranked out some monster hard rock hits, but between keeping her motor clean, dirty deeds done dirt cheap and hells bells, changing the station with 9 year olds present when AC/DC comes on is standard practice in my car. But we were in Julie's car and she said No, don't change it. Ladies and gentlemen, in lieu of state approved sex ed, WPLR and Julie bring you AC/DC's Big Balls:

I'm ever upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say I've got
The biggest balls of all

CHORUS:
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls
And she's got big balls
But we've got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got
Great balls of fire

CHORUS

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure
They're the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
It's my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

CHORUS

And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...