the forbidden dance

S. Burlington High in Vermont cancelled its Winter 'Ball' due to lack of interest. School administrators banned the popular dance style 'grinding,' known to those in my generation as 'vertical backside dry-humping,' and students responded by losing interest in attending the ball. There are huge implications to this story, not the least of which is a practically-already-written script for Footloose 2, this time featuring auto-erotic ottoman humping rather than long montages of Kevin Bacon running through warehouses doing pirouettes off hay bales.