the forbidden dance

S. Burlington High in Vermont cancelled its Winter 'Ball' due to lack of interest. School administrators banned the popular dance style 'grinding,' known to those in my generation as 'vertical backside dry-humping,' and students responded by losing interest in attending the ball. There are huge implications to this story, not the least of which is a practically-already-written script for Footloose 2, this time featuring auto-erotic ottoman humping rather than long montages of Kevin Bacon running through warehouses doing pirouettes off hay bales.

Snow's picking up...

O's newly-learned superstition must be taking effect. Madison, our neighbor and carpool buddy told O that if he wants a snow day tomorrow he has to go to bed with his pj pants inside out and a spoon under his pillow, which of course he did. Cute!

Meanwhile, Dad got ready by pouring half of the remaining snow blower gas on his f ing shoes and half in the machine, then realized he forgot the f ing power cord to his laptop at work meaning he had to go buy another f ing one at radio shack for f ing $100 (but it has an f ing adapter plug for the car -- great! Driving and using my laptop is a great f ing idea!) just so he didn't have to drive to f ing Waterbury for the next 36 hours in a blizzard and will be ready to give his talk at Griffin hospital Thursday. But, rest assured he'll be turning his pj pants inside-out momentarily...

Happy New Year

There's a LEGO replica of Hogwarts on our big table that O is rightfully proud of


We had a fantastic visit to Omaha which included some gingerbread house making


Sam the Cat introduced me to the Best Innocuous Office Prank of 2011 (so far). You hit control-alt-arrow key and it rotates your unsuspecting office-mate's computer screen image 90 degrees.

Believe in Yourself

it couldn't be done, they said.
fools rush in where angels fear to tread, they said.
call the f&$*in' plumber, they said.

But after only a couple hours, and only one trip to home despot, the dishwasher is installed and functional.

Jammies to school

We figured out how to get O excited for school: half day, hot chocolate, movies and wearing pjs

Merry Christmas!

Just another SkyMall plug

Look at this ridiculous product:

As if you needed another reason to check out SkyMall, the online version allows you to read reviews:
"There are few products on the market today that combine the sophistication of oenophilia with the practicality of a lanyard but this product marries the two deftly. Before owning this product, I couldn’t count the number of times I found myself at parties thinking, “Argh, I like drinking but this glass of wine is really cutting down on my grabbing efficiency. I could be grabbing at least twice as much stuff without this glass.”
As though SkyMall had imbedded a hidden camera in my heart, no sooner had I complained than they provided the wine glass holder necklace. It allows me the freedom to do anything I want at a party (save leaning, bending over, jumping, twisting or walking briskly).
Things I have grabbed with ease since owning the Wine Glass Holder Necklace:
Cheese!
Toilet Seats!
Other Glasses of Wine!
Steering Wheels!
Breasts!
A Sword!
It isn’t just a fashionable and functional necklace, it is $25 worth of life enhancement. I recommend this product to everyone except those with irregularly shaped chests or those born with hearts on the outside of their bodies."

Com-post

This flimsy plastic contraption has changed our lives. Remember that dryer lint I used to ball up and put in the Christmas tree stand because we don't have a trash can in the basement? Well *now*, at least occasionally, it goes in the compost bin. And the contents of this bin, which include not only dryer lint but also leaves, coffee grounds, cat hair, and ruptured pi~natas among other things, will combine with bacteria, worms, sun and precipitation to become tomatoes and parsley. I was pretty skeptical, too, but when I was turning the compost heap on Thursday, there was steam rising out of it. "That's a load of sh!t" you say? Exactly.