I take it all back, Nintendo

You might've heard that Owen's Christmas Wii was broken and that we had to send it back. Those heartless, greedy SOBs I thought... Falsifying scarcity to jack up the price then dashing the Christmas dreams of innocent children by distributing faulty merchandise. THEN having the gall to provide a 'tech' support number that connects you to a recording that spits back the same tip that's in the box: "Make sure the game disc is inserted label side up." Oh, thanks Nintendo, I never thought of that. Wow, any other tips for me? Should I also turn my cell phone on before I try to dial a number? Should I also lift the lid before I piss in the toilet? SHOULD I NINTENDO?!?!

We even sent poor Grandma Liz back to Santa's workshop for a new one.

Well as it turns out, the new Wii couldn't read the disks either ......but .... um....both times we had the console upside down, and, as a result, the disks were -- technically-speaking -- upside down too.

But, hey, O loves his Wii now.

Wassup

I thought it was time for a father/son viewing of the Wassup commercial. O liked it but really enjoyed the kids version, followed closely by the Simpson's version. We both agreed that the Grannies version didn't quite hit the mark.

Columbus sells itself

This from a physician recruitment email I got for an 'Executive Health Practice' in
Columbus, OH.  (This part actually came *before* mention of the orchestra, ballet,
minor league baseball, etc etc.)

"Numerous fast food chains call Columbus home  - Charley's Grilled Subs, Steak Escape,
White Castle, Bob Evans, Max & Erma's, Damon's Grill and Donatos Pizza."  Ummm...
there had better be a least a couple Burger Kings too or I'll take my services to Akron,
thank you very much.

For rent

Is my house really this nice? (For the record, the blurb I wrote did not include the word 'prestigious.') I was more frank (e.g. 'the second bedroom is small -- would be good for a child or an office or a gnome') But I'm sure it's real estate 101 to sound as glowing as possible. Remember that cat door hole I cut in the door to the basement? Turns out that's a HUGE selling point. 'Your small, well-behaved, neutered pet can move effortlessly to the basement. Never again will a blissful night's sleep be interrupted by the sound of a neurotic animal scratching at the basement door.' I would be asking $1500 if it weren't for that splendid architectural touch.

March on Washington

Julie and I hit Pennsylvania Ave Sunday morning and made the 3 mile walk from Ted and Laura's to the Lincoln Memorial, only having to stop at Starbucks once. You've seen the media coverage, but now you get to see what it was like for the man on the street tilting sideways:
We got a good spot in front of one of the closest jumbotrons -- sound was excellent and the crowd was pumped. Give it up to Jon Bon Jovi for 'most unexpected source of magic' with his channeling of Sam Cooke in 'A Change is Gonna Come' with Bettye LaVette. Stevie and the Boss delivered. U2 seemed just a hair off in comparison but definitely kept the vibe going. And 90 year old Pete Seeger jamming on the banjo in 35 degree weather? Holy crap. Garth Brooks gets broadest appeal award for 'Shout' and 'American Pie' making sure every one of the million could sing along to something. Fred Armisen may have to review tapes of Jamie Foxx' Obama imitation.

I prefer the term 'water landing'

It's not denial to call it a 'water landing.' I think most people recognize that when a plane lands in water, something has gone awry. So 'crash landing' is gratuitous, in my opinion, and inaccurate. If a vehicle 'crashes', there has to be at least bent metal, and maybe fire. So water landing it is.

How 'bout them Eagles, America?
I have to admit that some time during the Ravens game/debacle (week 12), I texted Brendan (who was traveling and needed an update) with an update that said, "Their season just ended." And I didn't mean that as a dire prediction; I meant it as an all-but-mathematically-assured outcome.

Finally...

After fielding several requests from blog readers for a video of a kitten performing shiatsu massage to an Aretha jam, I can finally deliver.