it couldn't be done, they said.
fools rush in where angels fear to tread, they said.
call the f&$*in' plumber, they said.
But after only a couple hours, and only one trip to home despot, the dishwasher is installed and functional.
12/30/10
12/24/10
Jammies to school
We figured out how to get O excited for school: half day, hot chocolate, movies and wearing pjs
Merry Christmas!
12/12/10
Just another SkyMall plug
Look at this ridiculous product:
As if you needed another reason to check out SkyMall, the online version allows you to read reviews:
"There are few products on the market today that combine the sophistication of oenophilia with the practicality of a lanyard but this product marries the two deftly. Before owning this product, I couldn’t count the number of times I found myself at parties thinking, “Argh, I like drinking but this glass of wine is really cutting down on my grabbing efficiency. I could be grabbing at least twice as much stuff without this glass.”
As though SkyMall had imbedded a hidden camera in my heart, no sooner had I complained than they provided the wine glass holder necklace. It allows me the freedom to do anything I want at a party (save leaning, bending over, jumping, twisting or walking briskly).
Things I have grabbed with ease since owning the Wine Glass Holder Necklace:
Cheese!
Toilet Seats!
Other Glasses of Wine!
Steering Wheels!
Breasts!
A Sword!
It isn’t just a fashionable and functional necklace, it is $25 worth of life enhancement. I recommend this product to everyone except those with irregularly shaped chests or those born with hearts on the outside of their bodies."
As if you needed another reason to check out SkyMall, the online version allows you to read reviews:
"There are few products on the market today that combine the sophistication of oenophilia with the practicality of a lanyard but this product marries the two deftly. Before owning this product, I couldn’t count the number of times I found myself at parties thinking, “Argh, I like drinking but this glass of wine is really cutting down on my grabbing efficiency. I could be grabbing at least twice as much stuff without this glass.”
As though SkyMall had imbedded a hidden camera in my heart, no sooner had I complained than they provided the wine glass holder necklace. It allows me the freedom to do anything I want at a party (save leaning, bending over, jumping, twisting or walking briskly).
Things I have grabbed with ease since owning the Wine Glass Holder Necklace:
Cheese!
Toilet Seats!
Other Glasses of Wine!
Steering Wheels!
Breasts!
A Sword!
It isn’t just a fashionable and functional necklace, it is $25 worth of life enhancement. I recommend this product to everyone except those with irregularly shaped chests or those born with hearts on the outside of their bodies."
12/4/10
Com-post
This flimsy plastic contraption has changed our lives. Remember that dryer lint I used to ball up and put in the Christmas tree stand because we don't have a trash can in the basement? Well *now*, at least occasionally, it goes in the compost bin. And the contents of this bin, which include not only dryer lint but also leaves, coffee grounds, cat hair, and ruptured pi~natas among other things, will combine with bacteria, worms, sun and precipitation to become tomatoes and parsley. I was pretty skeptical, too, but when I was turning the compost heap on Thursday, there was steam rising out of it. "That's a load of sh!t" you say? Exactly.
11/23/10
Charming 2BR for rent/sale
Yeah, I said 'charming,' the second most common word in real estate ads behind 'light-filled.' I would show you a picture but there are still some ratty chairs chained to the front porch that Tim *swears* he will remove soon. Apparently while the former tenant was down the shore all summer, Tim and his pals drank beer on the stoop all night whilst sitting in the ratty chairs. That's right...I said charming. And now it has a freshly painted front door and some precious, seasonally appropriate greenery in the windown boxes. 1601 Kater, Philly PA -- your new home!
11/14/10
Tiger bash
The Chili Cook-Off was a hit, I think. We only had 9 chilis but they were really good and we raised $250 for the Connecticut Food Bank. Jason's straight up beef n bean won the coveted Golden Pepper award.
This is the princeton pin~ata prior to its destruction. Lucy, one of Owen's classmates, made the crushing blow.
This is the princeton pin~ata prior to its destruction. Lucy, one of Owen's classmates, made the crushing blow.
11/7/10
Social distortion
Did you get a chance to the see the Social Network? Very entertaining. It did leave me with a few questions... first, who were these hot women being bus-ed in to the secret society party at harvard? I know that before harvard became co-ed, females were shipped in from such exotic locales as Wellesley but by now I assume such practices are verboten. Second, ok this isn't really a question...as tempting as it may be to believe there's a parallel universe at harvard where parties are fun and everyone is cool, don't buy it. The scene at the AEP house with the 20 frumpy guys in hawaiian shirts, fog machines and the DJ with Niagara falls in the background? That's as good as it gets up there.
10/24/10
Phils bow out
Shane Victorino notwithstanding, the Phillies seem to lack the fiery competitive types. Did that really matter? I don't know; they won 98 games after all. But the Giants seemed to want it more. Now the Giants face the Texas Lees. I don't like the Giants' odds but this scrappy band of misfits has been underestimated before. And, lest we forget, even the Orioles were 6-4 against Texas this season.
10/19/10
Pizza Hut Flashback
No, I'm not talking about my Employee of the Month Award, July 1991, even though I know people love to hear about it. I'm talking about having two pizzas in my car for 8 minutes driving from DiMateo's to Jason's house approximately 52 hours ago and my car still smelling like sausage, cheese and onions. It's amazing actually. The smell is not rotting, or really even dissipating for that matter. It seems like I could turn around and see a fresh baked pie on my back seat. On the drive in to work this morning, it was kind of disgusting; on the way back, it was torture because I was starving and there really was no pizza in the car. I checked.
10/15/10
Survivor New Haven
Members of the Parr tribe -- self-described 'polar bears' -- have a decided advantage. Tribe leader Julie has mandated that the heat cannot come on in the house until the oil company cleans the pipes October 25th. In a surprising move, she bought me a slanket, seemingly increasing the chances that I will live to tribal council on October 26th. However, she slyly has built an alliance of ridicule with Owen, Jack and Sam by yelling at me 'Get in your Slanket!' every time I complain about the cold. Jack and Sam sometimes come over to 'comfort' me with kneading but now I realize they may be trying to kill me.
10/4/10
Distract-o-cats
If Jack and Sam aren't chewing on my computer, they're stepping or sleeping on it or doing this
That kind of aggressive laziness is really distracting when you're up against a deadline.
That kind of aggressive laziness is really distracting when you're up against a deadline.
10/2/10
Bucking the Trend
Check this out:
O's 33 22
jays 29 26
yanks 28 26
rays 28 26
sox 27 26
These are the AL East standings since Buck Showalter took over as manager of the O's on August 2nd. 55 games is a third of the season! Each of the teams (besides the Os) had a chance at the playoffs Aug 2nd and two have since made the playoffs. And the best part is, this is usually the time of the season the Os go from bad to awful: 2002 they finished the season 4-32, 2007 an 11-28 finish, 6-28 in 2008. That's ugly.
9/27/10
Miscellania
My wallet got mailed to me and my faith in humanity is restored. It had no cash... but didn't have any when I lost it.
Sorry if anyone got spammed by my hotmail account. So far, the only person who considered that I might actually be hawking suzuki electronics on the side and signing my emails 'William Becker' was Mom (hi Mom!), though she did acknowledge the email as 'weird.' Anyway, I changed my password and inadvertantly deleted my contacts so that should hopefully fix the problem.
Bears game tonight should be entertaining. I hesitate to call the game 'big' because (a) it's week 3 and (b) in today's NFL full of parity, they're all big games. About the only thing we can say at this point is that Cutler and Forte look great and I hope they can keep it going.
Sorry if anyone got spammed by my hotmail account. So far, the only person who considered that I might actually be hawking suzuki electronics on the side and signing my emails 'William Becker' was Mom (hi Mom!), though she did acknowledge the email as 'weird.' Anyway, I changed my password and inadvertantly deleted my contacts so that should hopefully fix the problem.
Bears game tonight should be entertaining. I hesitate to call the game 'big' because (a) it's week 3 and (b) in today's NFL full of parity, they're all big games. About the only thing we can say at this point is that Cutler and Forte look great and I hope they can keep it going.
9/13/10
Case of the Mondays
You know how losing your wallet is like punching yourself in the head? I traced it back to Owen's and my bike ride Saturday morning to the post office. I asked if he had seen anything fall out of my pockets -- wind pants... never wear wind pants on a bike -- and he said: "There was something, it was black and it hit the back tire ... I thought it was a bomb!" (chuckle, giggle)
Then the DMV was closed today, meaning I won't have another chance to get a replacement license for a month. Starting attending Wednesday.
And then there was a pool of cloudy water in the bottom of the dishwasher but I might've fixed it.
Then the DMV was closed today, meaning I won't have another chance to get a replacement license for a month. Starting attending Wednesday.
And then there was a pool of cloudy water in the bottom of the dishwasher but I might've fixed it.
9/7/10
O is now officially a Millenial
Owen really wants the Death Star lego set, which is like 400 bucks and 10 thousand lego pieces. I'm not exactly how/when this happened, but the parental decision was that he could chip away at the price tag by doing chores around the house: vacuuming the basement, maybe some help leaf-raking, etc. He actually seems pretty fired up about this. So of course, no actual chore-doing has taken place but before school this morning, Owen had some extra time so he went into the basement to play a little bit. Julie said "you can only go downstairs if you come up *RIGHT AWAY* when I say it's time to go." So 10 mins later, Julie yells down and Owen charges up the stairs with uncommon alacrity....and says..."Do I get paid for coming up the stairs?"
8/27/10
Not exactly what I had in mind...
My PR campaign to get people to acknowledge that Ed Norton uncannily resembles me took a turn for the worst this week.
Dwight spotted this guy in a foodie blog
Dwight spotted this guy in a foodie blog
8/22/10
Vacation 2010
Big O now has the wing span of a turkey vulture
and can hold up the sky like Atlas
and is getting a little squirmy
and can hold up the sky like Atlas
and is getting a little squirmy
8/11/10
Staycation 2010
O is already back from Omaha, chaperoned back east by Grandma. Julie and I had a good two weeks, highlighted by the stunning Newport folk festival headlined by Levon Helm
and a lot of great hikes, most nearby but this one up in Mount Holyoke, MA, overlooking the Connecticut River:
and of course O had a grand time in Omaha:
and a lot of great hikes, most nearby but this one up in Mount Holyoke, MA, overlooking the Connecticut River:
and of course O had a grand time in Omaha:
8/1/10
Internet time machine
I found the senior picture I almost had. And please note the new awkwardfamilypetphotos link on the right.
7/26/10
Frontiersmen
There was a shoot-out at the Durham History Museum in Omaha. Luckily Deputies Owen and Gabe had allied themselves with the good guys before the fighting broke out. We all witnessed the stand off whilst sitting on bales of hay with wind gusts up to 40 mph, adding to the authenticity. (Not adding to the authenticity: the head-mounted Madonna mics the gunslingers were wearing to project their voices through the PA system).
7/19/10
Zen and the art of chicken farming
I told you Owen was good at catching chickens. Here he is with MuffinTop chillin' in the 100 degree weather last week. Is this the picture of serenity or heat stroke? Such ambiguity is the beauty of summer camp.
7/9/10
Spies Like Us
We swapped 'spies' yesterday with the Russians. In Austria, two planes were nose to nose on the tarmac for the hand-off. Granted, I've only been following this in 5 minute snippets on NPR but this is a real let down as far as espionage intrigue goes. I mean, one of the Russians was on facebook for chrissakes. I'm much more worried about Siberian hackers who apparently could drain my bank account if it were worth their effort.
In other news, Lebron and his chest tattoo 'loyalty' (it's true) are going to Miami. In retrospect, it seems kind of silly to think he might've stayed in Cleveland. I think we all just wanted to believe for poor old Cleveland that something might've broken their way in sports. Come to think of it, the Indians capitalized on two Armando Benitez wild pitches to make it to the 1997 World Series ... but then they lost to the Marlins in a heartbreaking game 7.
In other news, Lebron and his chest tattoo 'loyalty' (it's true) are going to Miami. In retrospect, it seems kind of silly to think he might've stayed in Cleveland. I think we all just wanted to believe for poor old Cleveland that something might've broken their way in sports. Come to think of it, the Indians capitalized on two Armando Benitez wild pitches to make it to the 1997 World Series ... but then they lost to the Marlins in a heartbreaking game 7.
7/1/10
tosh.O
I'm sure you, like me, after getting your fill of America's Funniest Videos after 20 minutes or so, fantasized about what it would be like to have an adult version full of sarcastic and borderline or completely inappropriate comments about what the participants in the videos were doing. Daniel Tosh has brought our fantasy to reality. And better yet, his show is going on the road, to hit New Haven in October.
And then there's WipeOut . Why is it so great to watch people caroming off giant padded soccer balls or getting punched in the face by mechanical fists while being sprayed with paint?
And then there's WipeOut . Why is it so great to watch people caroming off giant padded soccer balls or getting punched in the face by mechanical fists while being sprayed with paint?
6/21/10
backyard blast
the best thing about living next to Hopkins prep school is that every 350 years, they put on a wicked awesome fireworks show. Owen was pretty into it but -- here's your old pal Andy Rooney again -- I'd've been fine with it being 10 mins shorter. Plus the cats went ape-sh$%. Sam burrowed into the pipes and didn't come out for an hour.
6/11/10
Grant proposal is Done and other news
I signed off on the cover sheet of "Defining and Measuring Opioid Failure in Chronic Non-Cancer Pain" yesterday at the VA research office. Now I just sit, wait and blog for another few months. I may also start putting my dishes directly in the dishwasher after rinsing them but not because I'm being forced to or trying to ingratiate myself with anyone but because I independently decided that makes the most sense.
Confirmatory reports have come out that the Huskers are joining the Big Ten. Many unanswered questions remain:
1) what do those of us who have spent the last couple decades bashing Big Ten football do now? Well...it's looking ?likely that UT, Texas A&M and Oklahoma will join the Pac-10 meaning the former Big 12 will no longer exist. The new Big Ten (which will, incidentally, be composed of 12 teams) fans will now bash the Pac-16. This prospect was made a little easier by USC's recent troubles.
2) if the Big 12 dissolves and the Big 10 has 12 teams, will the Big 10 be renamed the Big 12? Sources close to the story are not talking.
3) did Julie really find a scrawled out list of Big 10 and Big 12 towns and their distances from Lincoln, NE? Yes... I was trying to figure out how much this conference shift would really affect Big Red booster travel. While distance still favors the (former) Big 12 locales, how about the tourism factor? Austin and Boulder are/were the gems of the Husker travel schedule but it might be worth the trade to get Madison, (sorta near) Chicago, Minneapolis, Columbus, Ann Arbor and, because Julie might still be reading this, State College out of the deal.
Confirmatory reports have come out that the Huskers are joining the Big Ten. Many unanswered questions remain:
1) what do those of us who have spent the last couple decades bashing Big Ten football do now? Well...it's looking ?likely that UT, Texas A&M and Oklahoma will join the Pac-10 meaning the former Big 12 will no longer exist. The new Big Ten (which will, incidentally, be composed of 12 teams) fans will now bash the Pac-16. This prospect was made a little easier by USC's recent troubles.
2) if the Big 12 dissolves and the Big 10 has 12 teams, will the Big 10 be renamed the Big 12? Sources close to the story are not talking.
3) did Julie really find a scrawled out list of Big 10 and Big 12 towns and their distances from Lincoln, NE? Yes... I was trying to figure out how much this conference shift would really affect Big Red booster travel. While distance still favors the (former) Big 12 locales, how about the tourism factor? Austin and Boulder are/were the gems of the Husker travel schedule but it might be worth the trade to get Madison, (sorta near) Chicago, Minneapolis, Columbus, Ann Arbor and, because Julie might still be reading this, State College out of the deal.
6/2/10
Baseball Update
1) O's losing to yankers again tonight. I tuned in last night just in time to see Tejada's 2 run error lose it for the Os who will need to go 65-45 the rest of the way to make my 80 win prediction.
2) Phils' offense has hit the skids. Crazy -- 14 runs in the last 11 games. No one could've predicted that. The Braves have taken over 1st in the NL East. Phils need J Roll back and Utley's gotta start hitting again. But count on Ryan Howard to explode as the weather heats up in Philly.
3) Junior is retiring. 1st ballot Hall-of-Famer, no question.
4) Get to know Ubaldo Jimenez. The Rockies' 26 year old righty SP is 1/3rd of the way through the best season for a starter in 42 years.
2) Phils' offense has hit the skids. Crazy -- 14 runs in the last 11 games. No one could've predicted that. The Braves have taken over 1st in the NL East. Phils need J Roll back and Utley's gotta start hitting again. But count on Ryan Howard to explode as the weather heats up in Philly.
3) Junior is retiring. 1st ballot Hall-of-Famer, no question.
4) Get to know Ubaldo Jimenez. The Rockies' 26 year old righty SP is 1/3rd of the way through the best season for a starter in 42 years.
Class of '95
Our 15 year reunion was last weekend. Good times were had by all, or at least by the eight people at our house, as far as I could tell. Here's a fact that makes it sound like the way Yale reunions were meant to be: things got so crazy that a champagne glass was broken in the hot tub. (not a fact: things got so crazy, one of the polo ponies jumped our fence and bit our yacht).
I think it would've been pretty hard 15 years ago to predict me living in New Haven. The rest of the events in between I think went pretty much as scripted.
I think it would've been pretty hard 15 years ago to predict me living in New Haven. The rest of the events in between I think went pretty much as scripted.
5/23/10
5/17/10
Speaking of MacGruber
Only 3 days left to vote in the AFP MacGruber mullet contest. I had some pretty sweet feathered hair in the 'growing out' phase but nothing to compete with these masterpieces.
5/11/10
Betty White
She really did it up on SNL last Saturday. I seem to vaguely remember her busting out a few mildly inappropriate one-liners as a Golden Girl and Julie claims she was the deliverer of sexual innuendos on the Mary Tyler Moore show but SNL brought out a whole new beast. If you haven't seen it, don't miss these beauties:
Poop-caso
Micropenis
Lesbian (many times over)
Balls
Wizard of ASS
I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
Poop-caso
Micropenis
Lesbian (many times over)
Balls
Wizard of ASS
I'm sure I'm forgetting a few.
5/2/10
Sweep
The Orioles' nightmarish first 3 1/2 weeks of the season picked up nicely with a sweep of the red sox in Baltimore. The Os were 2-16 vs Boston last year and have started 4-2 against them this season (but 3-16 against everyone else). My 80 win prediction is looking like a long shot but so is the red sox' world series goal.
4/30/10
Essential reading
Julie sent me a story on gawker about a cat in Idaho that tried to kill its owner. The comments section has a link to this site -- essential reading for cat owners. Don't forget to take the quiz at the end.
4/21/10
You Be Google, Part sumpin
How do you make:
1) a group on facebook?
2) a fanpage on facebook?
3) a heart on facebook?
4) a peacesign on facebook?
5) out?
6) french toast?
7) yourself throw up?
These stem completions made me a little sad. (and not b/c I was looking for 'blackened chicken') Look at those first four... what a nation of losers we are. First off: get off facebook and this blog and go make out with somebody! Second, I'm guessing the instructions for how to do the first two are on facebook, so maybe you should start there and not google them.
The make out website is pretty good, leaving aside the whole controversy about whether one should consult instructions about sensual experiences (e.g. instructions on how to taste a strawberry.) In any case, it's pretty funny and I suppose if I were 13 -- the age of the rest of the 'blogging at noon' universe -- informative. Though I will call the author out on the 'controversy' of whether or not to close your eyes. C'mon now...if leaving your eyes open is 'totally creepy,' is this really a controversy?
I have to read about blackened chicken now.
1) a group on facebook?
2) a fanpage on facebook?
3) a heart on facebook?
4) a peacesign on facebook?
5) out?
6) french toast?
7) yourself throw up?
These stem completions made me a little sad. (and not b/c I was looking for 'blackened chicken') Look at those first four... what a nation of losers we are. First off: get off facebook and this blog and go make out with somebody! Second, I'm guessing the instructions for how to do the first two are on facebook, so maybe you should start there and not google them.
The make out website is pretty good, leaving aside the whole controversy about whether one should consult instructions about sensual experiences (e.g. instructions on how to taste a strawberry.) In any case, it's pretty funny and I suppose if I were 13 -- the age of the rest of the 'blogging at noon' universe -- informative. Though I will call the author out on the 'controversy' of whether or not to close your eyes. C'mon now...if leaving your eyes open is 'totally creepy,' is this really a controversy?
I have to read about blackened chicken now.
4/14/10
Ben-less Bliss
Well, it just didn't work out with us and Ben. But I think the split has worked out for everybody.
Plus we hear Ben loves his 2 new doggie brothers and gets to go for long walks on the beach, which is one of his turn-ons.
Plus we hear Ben loves his 2 new doggie brothers and gets to go for long walks on the beach, which is one of his turn-ons.
4/4/10
Easter Crab Legs
Look at how the fog rolled in while we were basking in the sun at the West Haven beach.
In unrelated news:
I almost decapitated myself trying to fix the garage door. Julie's last words before the near death experience, "I don't think you should be doing this." I know what you're thinking: her lack of confidence ruined my concentration and almost killed me.
Orioles: 80 wins this year for a solid 4th Place AL East finish. Phils: World Champs (this cannot be a jinx b/c (a) they're not my favorite team and (b) I am not an expert)
In unrelated news:
I almost decapitated myself trying to fix the garage door. Julie's last words before the near death experience, "I don't think you should be doing this." I know what you're thinking: her lack of confidence ruined my concentration and almost killed me.
Orioles: 80 wins this year for a solid 4th Place AL East finish. Phils: World Champs (this cannot be a jinx b/c (a) they're not my favorite team and (b) I am not an expert)
4/1/10
April Fools' Day gift
Sometimes you have to make a big effort to get your jollies 4/1 but other times they just fall in your lap as it were. The setting certainly had promise -- 'Sexual harrassment workshop' (really? just too wordy to call it 'sexual harrassment *prevention* workshop?') on April 1 -- but in a group of supervisors at an institution of higher learning the odds still seemed slim. But the odds hadn't met 'The Huggie Guy.'
A talkative fellow, The Huggie Guy was determined to work his wealth of life experience into the mostly didactic presentation on what supervisors need to do if sexual harrassment gets reported to them. He apparently knew the workshop facilitator (a woman) and said -- "See, I like what you did (Betty); you know I'm a Huggie Guy but when I came in here looking for a hug b/c that's how I am, I'm a Huggie Guy, you firmly extended your hand for a shake. I got the message though ... it worked. I knew what the boundaries were. But I'm still gonna get my hug before I leave!" {semi-muffled laughter erupts from the audience}
He wasn't through. A little while later, he was talking about having to sometimes compromise what you feel is right as a supervisor. He supervised at the DMV prior to his move to the university (nice promotion!). It was well known that one employee at a testing station "liked to adjust himself a lot. That's pretty normal though. He probably did it a little more than normal. But, you know, you ladies adjust yourselves too ... with the bras all the time [demonstrates adjusting bra straps] ... in any case, a lady worker didn't like all the adjusting and she said something." WELL... did he reform? inquiring minds wanted to know. "He adjusted himself less but *still* got fired," at which point the Huggy Guy pensively shook his head.
A woman at his table informed the group that she "swims with men with the speedos and whatnot. When they have to adjust themselves they just turn their back to me." Now that's what I call sexual harrassment prevention.
A talkative fellow, The Huggie Guy was determined to work his wealth of life experience into the mostly didactic presentation on what supervisors need to do if sexual harrassment gets reported to them. He apparently knew the workshop facilitator (a woman) and said -- "See, I like what you did (Betty); you know I'm a Huggie Guy but when I came in here looking for a hug b/c that's how I am, I'm a Huggie Guy, you firmly extended your hand for a shake. I got the message though ... it worked. I knew what the boundaries were. But I'm still gonna get my hug before I leave!" {semi-muffled laughter erupts from the audience}
He wasn't through. A little while later, he was talking about having to sometimes compromise what you feel is right as a supervisor. He supervised at the DMV prior to his move to the university (nice promotion!). It was well known that one employee at a testing station "liked to adjust himself a lot. That's pretty normal though. He probably did it a little more than normal. But, you know, you ladies adjust yourselves too ... with the bras all the time [demonstrates adjusting bra straps] ... in any case, a lady worker didn't like all the adjusting and she said something." WELL... did he reform? inquiring minds wanted to know. "He adjusted himself less but *still* got fired," at which point the Huggy Guy pensively shook his head.
A woman at his table informed the group that she "swims with men with the speedos and whatnot. When they have to adjust themselves they just turn their back to me." Now that's what I call sexual harrassment prevention.
3/29/10
Annals of Neuroscience
Today, for the second time in the past 2 weeks, I walked away from my car in the parking garage without my umbrella even though it was pouring rain outside. Why? It's not raining in the parking garage my mind told me.
We were out at dinner Saturday night with French people. They were talking about their trip to Long Island and we were asking about flora and fauna. They said they saw some dolphins in the water. Trying to make conversation while seeming culturally inquisitive, I thought 'I'll ask them 'how do you say 'dolphin' in French?' But before I could ask, the woman said they also saw a seal. So my brain quickly switched to 'how do you say 'seal' in French?' The answer turned out to be what sounded like 'fuk' (I have since learned that it is spelled 'phoque' but still sounds like 'fuk'). I'm pretty sure I had heard that at some point in my life, what with my connoiseurship of stupid shit that makes me giggle. But the question is -- when she mentioned dolphins, was my brain already reaching for that far away memory of 'phoque' which her mention of seals then propelled to the cortex??
We were out at dinner Saturday night with French people. They were talking about their trip to Long Island and we were asking about flora and fauna. They said they saw some dolphins in the water. Trying to make conversation while seeming culturally inquisitive, I thought 'I'll ask them 'how do you say 'dolphin' in French?' But before I could ask, the woman said they also saw a seal. So my brain quickly switched to 'how do you say 'seal' in French?' The answer turned out to be what sounded like 'fuk' (I have since learned that it is spelled 'phoque' but still sounds like 'fuk'). I'm pretty sure I had heard that at some point in my life, what with my connoiseurship of stupid shit that makes me giggle. But the question is -- when she mentioned dolphins, was my brain already reaching for that far away memory of 'phoque' which her mention of seals then propelled to the cortex??
3/21/10
Cornell
As I lay on the living room floor Friday racked with waves of nausea and abdominal cramping (stomach flu + another busted bracket) watching Cornell dismantle Temple, it was clear this team had serious talent. Can they beat Kentucky? If they can play KU to the wire in Lawrence, they can definitely beat Kentucky in upstate NY. And if they beat the best team left in the tourney, what's next? [editor's note: Cornell's last loss was 2/12...to, at the time, 3-15 Penn]
3/13/10
Elephant, cat, mouse
In our ongoing quest to improve upon rock, paper, scissors (seriously ... paper beats rock??), we may have stumbled on a winner: I give you Elephant, cat, mouse. Elephant of the downgoing, waggling index finger; cat of the side-turned fist and oscillating pinkie; and mouse of the one-handed air quotes. You intuitively know what beats what (though Dad messed up mouse beating elephant. Maybe that's counterintuitive but still true somehow). There's not supposed to be anything obscene here so if you find anything, that's on you.
C'mon Scott Brown
Shut your pie hole! He's on record this morning saying the Dems, in their singleminded pursuit of healthcare reform, are ignoring the real need -- job creation. Seriously, come on dude. You're in office a week and you're already a master panderer? Except you're not a master because master pandering still needs to have some subtlety. On the other hand, it may be even more masterful in its retardacity b/c it made me almost drive off the road. And, maybe, just maybe, Obama will take the bait and say "Dude, that's absurd" at which point his words will be spun as "condescending" to the upstart populist underwear model. Barry -- don't take the bait!
3/6/10
You Be Google - VI
Why do
1) men have nipples?
2) dogs eat poop?
3) cats purr?
4) men cheat?
5) we dream?
6) cats knead?
1) men have nipples?
2) dogs eat poop?
3) cats purr?
4) men cheat?
5) we dream?
6) cats knead?
3/4/10
Update
Owie is 8! (and has been for 4 days) Can you believe it?
I was getting sick of Apolo Ohno and his gold tipped gloves and his 'triumphantly holding up fingers matching number of medals' laps. C'mon dude, this is America. We want gold. Setting the eighth medal record with a bronze is great but lose the boasting victory lap. Need I remind you that Michael Phelps won like 7 golds stoned and barely pumped a fist.
I have now rented Tombstone twice for a total of 10 days in the past 3 weeks and haven't seen it yet. Yes, I'm the last person on earth without tivo/dvr or netflix and am being punished for it daily. You should openly mock me. Speaking of movies and mocking, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' was on the other night and I got O to start watching it. He was totally sucked in but was trying to deny it partly I think b/c it's black and white. This Avatar generation...I just don't understand it.
But O can go old-school, too. For example, he listens to a DVD of 'English idioms' where voice actors with perfect enunciation say things like "Jane says she's not feeling well today. I think she's a little bit under the weather." A while back, Julie and I were having words and O told us to "bury the hatchet."
I was getting sick of Apolo Ohno and his gold tipped gloves and his 'triumphantly holding up fingers matching number of medals' laps. C'mon dude, this is America. We want gold. Setting the eighth medal record with a bronze is great but lose the boasting victory lap. Need I remind you that Michael Phelps won like 7 golds stoned and barely pumped a fist.
I have now rented Tombstone twice for a total of 10 days in the past 3 weeks and haven't seen it yet. Yes, I'm the last person on earth without tivo/dvr or netflix and am being punished for it daily. You should openly mock me. Speaking of movies and mocking, 'To Kill a Mockingbird' was on the other night and I got O to start watching it. He was totally sucked in but was trying to deny it partly I think b/c it's black and white. This Avatar generation...I just don't understand it.
But O can go old-school, too. For example, he listens to a DVD of 'English idioms' where voice actors with perfect enunciation say things like "Jane says she's not feeling well today. I think she's a little bit under the weather." A while back, Julie and I were having words and O told us to "bury the hatchet."
2/23/10
Much ado about boobies
Look at what smut-peddlers the folks at Ranger Rick have become:
I mean, would it have killed them to put 'these birds' in place of one 'boobies'?
Reminds me vaguely of when my fourth grade art teacher Mrs Pope was asking us to bring in magazines to use as guides for drawing wildlife (incidentally, Mrs Pope was about 400 lbs and drove a conversion van with a horn that played 'Heart of Dixie'...in suburban Chicago). She said, 'C'mon kids, I know you have plenty of copies of Ranger Dick sitting around.' And just in case she wasn't 100% sure I wouldn't rupture my spleen laughing she said 'Ranger Dick' like twelve more times.
I mean, would it have killed them to put 'these birds' in place of one 'boobies'?
Reminds me vaguely of when my fourth grade art teacher Mrs Pope was asking us to bring in magazines to use as guides for drawing wildlife (incidentally, Mrs Pope was about 400 lbs and drove a conversion van with a horn that played 'Heart of Dixie'...in suburban Chicago). She said, 'C'mon kids, I know you have plenty of copies of Ranger Dick sitting around.' And just in case she wasn't 100% sure I wouldn't rupture my spleen laughing she said 'Ranger Dick' like twelve more times.
2/18/10
Father/Son movie night
It's been 25 years since I saw a Star Wars movie. But how many times can you hear a 7 year old say 'Count Douku' before curiosity gets the best of you? I'll say this about the Wii game Lego Star Wars the Complete Saga: somehow Owen knew all the characters and plot twists before seeing episode III so there must be some learning component. I thought the movie was excellent but if I didn't have human cliff notes sitting next to me, I might've gotten lost. I tried to throw random words around to impress Owen: "Empire, Wookie, Endor" but I was about 50/50 with the eye rolls. I will say this -- one of us thought (prior to actually seeing the end) Yoda died at the end of episode III but, c'mon, you gotta have some common sense.
2/10/10
Snow Day
My fault for not bringing the flip camera but you should've seen the events at the sledding hill a couple hours ago. We had Ben and Diego tussling in a driving blizzard with Owen sledding past on a hill so windswept that after 4 inches of snow there were still grassy patches. If you can imagine driving snow, an unsophisticated camera, a low angle and squinting a little, you could've been convinced that it was a fight between a wolf and a baby polar bear next to the Olympic luge course.
2/7/10
New kid on the block
Here is Bennison Tennison or Ben for short:
We got him Saturday from a guy on Lon Gisland. He's a 2nd generation Labradoodle, which means both his parents are Labradoodles, in case you happen to not be dog-obsessed. He's very friendly and agreeable but not so housebroken.
He is 11 weeks old and already weighs ~ 16 lbs. By my calculation that means he'll grow up to be 642 lbs.
We got him Saturday from a guy on Lon Gisland. He's a 2nd generation Labradoodle, which means both his parents are Labradoodles, in case you happen to not be dog-obsessed. He's very friendly and agreeable but not so housebroken.
He is 11 weeks old and already weighs ~ 16 lbs. By my calculation that means he'll grow up to be 642 lbs.
2/3/10
You Be Google - V
Why would
1) you wanna break up?
2) the world end in 2012?
3) you like to work for us?
4) my period be late?
5) you like to work for starbucks?
6) a guy ignore you?
1) you wanna break up?
2) the world end in 2012?
3) you like to work for us?
4) my period be late?
5) you like to work for starbucks?
6) a guy ignore you?
1/31/10
Beach Combin'
Each weekend we try to think of clever ways to get O out of the house. I thought this one -- West Haven beach walk/bike ride in 15-degree wind chill -- was doomed from the start but check it out:
We're on a little island that's actually out in the Sound. The tide was so low that we parked O's bike behind a rock and walked out on a sandbar to the island. TONS of shells.
We're on a little island that's actually out in the Sound. The tide was so low that we parked O's bike behind a rock and walked out on a sandbar to the island. TONS of shells.
1/25/10
Sports Update
The Saints Go Marching in to Miami -- I made that up. I wanted to post it last night but knew no one would believe I could come up with that just hours after the game.
Yale Women's field hockey practice started today around one; I could see them out the office window. Other things I could see out the window: horizontal driving rain and wind gusts up to 55 mph. That's the love of the game, Brett Favre, not 17 million dollars just to unretire (again), torture the entire state of Wisconsin for 9 months and then throw the worst across-the-body-when-you-should've-scrambled pass of your INT-riddled career, thereby tormenting the entire state of Minnesota for the next 9 months. I know...ten AP fumbles didn't help the cause. Please, somebody, explain fumbling. The dude looks like he could crush my skull with his biceps and yet the ball keeps popping out. Maybe that's it: holding the ball too tightly?? I think Aikman said he usually only fumbles when he's fighting for extra yards. Hmmmm, yeah, it would be weird if he fumbled in open space or just after getting the hand-off. Oh, wait, he did that too.
Yale Women's field hockey practice started today around one; I could see them out the office window. Other things I could see out the window: horizontal driving rain and wind gusts up to 55 mph. That's the love of the game, Brett Favre, not 17 million dollars just to unretire (again), torture the entire state of Wisconsin for 9 months and then throw the worst across-the-body-when-you-should've-scrambled pass of your INT-riddled career, thereby tormenting the entire state of Minnesota for the next 9 months. I know...ten AP fumbles didn't help the cause. Please, somebody, explain fumbling. The dude looks like he could crush my skull with his biceps and yet the ball keeps popping out. Maybe that's it: holding the ball too tightly?? I think Aikman said he usually only fumbles when he's fighting for extra yards. Hmmmm, yeah, it would be weird if he fumbled in open space or just after getting the hand-off. Oh, wait, he did that too.
1/20/10
You Be Google, part IV
When will
1) I die ?
2) The world end ?
3) Verizon get the iPhone?
4) I get married?
5) Scott Brown be sworn in?
6) Santa be at my house?
1) I die ?
2) The world end ?
3) Verizon get the iPhone?
4) I get married?
5) Scott Brown be sworn in?
6) Santa be at my house?
1/18/10
Newton, KS and Brothers on the Half Shell
On our cross-country bike ride, Jaewon and I decided that Newton, KS was the Best Town in America (based mostly on how much free food they gave us). This week, one of Julie's book club members said she was from Kansas. "Which town?" I asked, but I could already sense it -- Newton. I woke up this morning to an NPR story about a lost MLK speech that was recovered by a student audiotape recording in 1960 at small Bethel College in ... Newton, KS.
Look at these guys enjoying their new cat bed in the sun room
Look at these guys enjoying their new cat bed in the sun room
1/14/10
You Be Google, part 3
Why are there:
(1) school?
(2) so many ladybugs?
(3) no cats in the bible?
(4) seasons?
(5) so many songs about rainbows?
(1) school?
(2) so many ladybugs?
(3) no cats in the bible?
(4) seasons?
(5) so many songs about rainbows?
1/12/10
You Be Google, 2nd installment
How do I know:
1) if I'm pregnant?
2) if I have swine flu?
3) if he likes me?
4) if a girl likes me?
5) when I am ovulating?
1) if I'm pregnant?
2) if I have swine flu?
3) if he likes me?
4) if a girl likes me?
5) when I am ovulating?
1/9/10
College football trivia
Which program has had the most alums play in the NFL, most NFL games played by alums and most TDs scored by alums?
1/8/10
You Be Google, first installment
I type a question stem into Google and then take the top 5 or so completions of the stem. These completions I think are the most frequently searched questions that start with the stem. Anyway, you try to answer the questions (actual answers in the comments below).
What do you call a person who:
1) likes to blow up bars?
2) lies all the time?
3) shoes horses?
4) makes maps?
5) gives massages?
6) likes pain?
7) takes a survey?
8) does autopsies?
What do you call a person who:
1) likes to blow up bars?
2) lies all the time?
3) shoes horses?
4) makes maps?
5) gives massages?
6) likes pain?
7) takes a survey?
8) does autopsies?
1/3/10
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