Merry Christmas!

Owen did this one -- self-portrait he says.

Various Bears

The lead bear story is not the Chicago Bears squeaking out a patented 'unimpressive but win nonetheless' win over the arch-rival packers last night, thereby keeping the playoff drive alive.

It's that I've finally been featured in a website authored by teddy bears...(you have to scroll down some). I wish I could explain to you how it happened, but I can't -- partly because I don't actually know and partly because the stories you'll make up in your mind (and share?) will be better...

QB dilemma

Despite all my whining and crying, I made it into the fantasy playoffs and advanced to the finals. So who do I start at QB? I have Eli @ home vs. Panthers, Trent Edwards on the road vs. the Broncos or Dan Orlovsky @ home vs. Saints. And, yes, those are the only options.

FYI -- if you're looking for the lyrics to Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap on YouTube, DON'T click on this one to see what it's all about while your 6 year old looks on. The tune is just too catchy...

From the large and ever-expanding VA Mystery File

I ordered my patient a nebulizer from the prosthetics department. This was the electronic note added by them as an addendum to my order:

ORDER NEBULIZER FROM DEVILBLISS

Olympic sport 2024?

I think this would be pretty entertaining to watch. And there probably wouldn't be doping involved.

Bear-ly breathing

So I said the vikings game was a 'must-win' yet the Bears lost and are still alive after handling the Jaguars. The beauty of the NFL. Also, that was before the Williams wall hub-bub, Gus Frerotte getting injured and the pack officially tanking. A note on the Williams wall -- one of them was quoted multiple times during the Bears game as saying he had 'no respect' for Bears' star rookie Matt Forte. Well, who doesn't deserve respect now, half-wall? Yeah, take that.

O lost another tooth today -- that's two for those scoring at home. Julie and I were having a little trouble with the Tooth Fairy protocol. How does the Tooth Fairy know when to visit? Does she check under everybody's pillow every night? Luckily, Owen seemed oblivious to the logistical holes.

Speaking of which, O went with the saturation technique on his Christmas list. If Santa only brings half the requested presents based on a behavioral sliding scale, best to put as many options down as possible.

What the Dickens

O got a special holiday treat -- snaking around the bowels of Macy's as weirdly proportioned electronic dolls told the story of Dickens' A Christmas Carol. It was actually really cool, though Scrooge on his knees quaking in front of his own open grave as the grim reaper/ghost of Christmas future towers menacingly over him might be a little much for some little ones. At the end of it was Santa, who took a little extra time since Owen was the first kid to make it through (alive?) that morning.

Please put me out of my misery

"Really, the fantasy football season isn't fun. Winning is OK; losing is agonizing. You constantly feel awful about your choices and your bad luck; it's the only exercise that causes arguments with friends you normally never would argue with; and you spend roughly a kazillion hours managing your team for the 10 percent chance that you might win your league. There's just not a ton of upside. It's almost like smoking cigarettes -- it started out with good intentions, and it's something to do, and it can be fun in the right moments, but ultimately, there are an inordinate amount of moments when you find yourself leaning out a window in 20-degree weather to puff out a quick cig as your nose gets frostbitten, or bumming a cig from a group of horrible girls and then feeling obligated to talk to them, or waking up in the morning and coughing up your right lung. Really, it's more harm than fun. And yet, we continue to do it. And love it. This entire paragraph made me want to smoke." -- Bill Simmons (the Sports Guy).

That pretty well sums it up for me. I'll likely end up 10 points short of a playoff berth tonight and instead of seeing that as a blessing in disguise so I can more fully enjoy the next 3 weekends of my life, I'll probably sneak 47 peeks at MNF **JUST IN CASE** Maurice Jones Drew can manage to score 34 points. And all the while, I'll ask myself - why did I trade for Eli Manning if I was just going to bench him in the midst of one of the most dominant 18 game runs any team has had this decade? Sure, we all knew Trent Edwards would have a let-down after last week's explosion but ONE FRIGGIN' POINT?! Against the Niners?!? At home?!?

Ok, I feel a little better.