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4/30/09

The curse of the Thick German thighs

I have this hilarious couple that comes in every few months with a laundry list of symptoms. Thankfully, they are easily reassured; they just want some answers loosely based on medical science. Anyway, in the middle of 'the list', the wife stops and says -- 'Dr. Becker -- you put on some weight?' and I paused, wondering, have I? when she says, "Your thighs look like they're gonna bust out of your pants!" I had just gotten up to examine the latest super-urgent corn on her husband's foot and sat back in my chair without adjusting my pants, thereby gathering the pants fabric tight around my thighs.

Hey, when a wife of a patient interrupts (for all she knows) a perfectly legitimate medical examination to comment on the doctor's thighs -- you know you got some big ass thighs.

The origin of 'Thick German thighs'? .... I was at Diana's parents' house a dozen years ago or so taking a nap. Later that day, Diana's father revealed he had come home, walked into his son's former room to see a man sleeping there. He thought for a moment it might be his son but decided it couldn't possibly be because of the man's 'thick German thighs.'

4/28/09

Big dudes

As someone who can barely jump into a pool, I was pretty impressed with Chicago Bears draft pick Jarron Gilbert's stunt. Will this be a new standardized test at the combine? Sure, you ran a 4.6 40 and benched 225 lbs 54 times in a row, but can you jump out of a pool without using your hands?

And how about the Rock aka Dwayne Johnson on Saturday Night Live? The guy's got some talent. He's obviously reading the cue cards here but still gets high marks (from me) for comedic timing. And please note the subtle genius of Kristin Wiig. She never mails it in. Look at her face and hand gestures while listening to the serenade. It's the little things that add up to skit greatness.

4/20/09

Everybody needs a montage

Thanks to Mommy, who insisted that we stop at a tourist attraction on the way home (who does that?), Owen had the time of his life at the home of [deep voice w/ echo] GRAVE DIGGER, Saturday Saturday Saturday. He got to ride on a monster truck that drove over a school bus (top center), his ultimate fantasy come true.



and there was also a
PETTING ZOO PETTING ZOO PETTING ZOO.

and a remote control car race track.

O was beside himself with excitement.


He even got to meet Dennis Anderson, Grave Digger's driver.

who turns out to be a super nice guy. I didn't get to meet him because I was at the petting zoo with Axle, Turbo and Digglet, the Vietnamese Potbelly Pigs pigs pigs.

4/12/09

Spring Break '09

Owen and Gabe had a great time in Duck, NC and so did the grown-ups. The boys and I got out in the water for a little bit but mostly we dug sand piles and ran away from the waves. There were also huge sand dunes, kites, wild horses, and, only in the spirit of defending the colony, horse-stabbing lessons.


4/6/09

30-14


Since and including 1966, the O's have the best Opening Day winning percentage in all of baseball. If you find yourself wondering how such a bad team could be so good on Opening Day, remind yourself the the O's had the best record in regular season games between 1966 and 1985. If you then find yourself saying, 'Yeah, but they've been pretty bad since 1985,' remind yourself of the 1997 wire-to-wire AL Pennant and the 1996 divisional playoffs lost to the worst blown call in the history of sports. If you then find yourself saying, 'But since 1997 they've had eleven straight losing seasons' ...tell yourself: 2009... 83 WINS BABY -- MARK IT DOWN, WAKE THE NEIGHBORS!


4/1/09

Not funny

If this is an April Fool's joke, msn has gone too far...