The axe murderer with an interesting mask (a Justin Bieber/Tom Brady wig in this case) crashes through the window, decapitating Captain Kay with one fell swing, while Ms. Easy Pants sprawls on the floor screaming.
The Bieber/Brady killer then runs upstairs to make sure he kills the couple's African-American friend who kept saying the rumors of an axe murderer in a pea coat were ridiculous.
With that obligation filled, the killer runs downstairs to find EasyPants dialing furiously on her cell phone as she realizes her battery is dead. Bieber/Brady cackles as he taunts her with the severed end of a cell phone charger.
The dulcet tones of "One Less Lonely Girl" waft through the cabin as Easy Pants sees lightning flash on the blood-stained axe. Bieber/Brady hoists the axe over his head. EasyPants screams "Nooooo!!!!!" The axe slices down right on her mercilessly into her surprisingly meager bosom and
..... becomes lodged in her Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant. Bieber/Brady is baffled by the turn of events, and EasyPants uses the distraction to kick Bieber/Brady in the groin. He does not react.
Before he can raise the axe again, EasyPants leaps to her feet and brings his wig down over his face. Disoriented, he falls down struggling for air through the 72 pounds of hair. EasyPants leaps on top of him cramming the wig down his windpipe with the butt of his axe while her recently cleaved but still intact and beautiful Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant sways back and forth over his suffocated face.
As his twitches become weaker and farther apart, EasyPants spits through gritted teeth - "I'm right here. And I always will be. Bitch."
I totally had EasyPants winning this one too. Clearly Captain Kay has crossed irretrievably into creepdom. Sensing certain doom after the bizarre tone of "and I always will be..." EasyPants decides to roll with it and act like she's smitten. Once his creepy defenses are down, she stabs him with her Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant. "Every Kill Begins with Kay"
3 comments:
The axe murderer with an interesting mask (a Justin Bieber/Tom Brady wig in this case) crashes through the window, decapitating Captain Kay with one fell swing, while Ms. Easy Pants sprawls on the floor screaming.
The Bieber/Brady killer then runs upstairs to make sure he kills the couple's African-American friend who kept saying the rumors of an axe murderer in a pea coat were ridiculous.
With that obligation filled, the killer runs downstairs to find EasyPants dialing furiously on her cell phone as she realizes her battery is dead. Bieber/Brady cackles as he taunts her with the severed end of a cell phone charger.
The dulcet tones of "One Less Lonely Girl" waft through the cabin as Easy Pants sees lightning flash on the blood-stained axe. Bieber/Brady hoists the axe over his head. EasyPants screams "Nooooo!!!!!" The axe slices down right on her mercilessly into her surprisingly meager bosom and
..... becomes lodged in her Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant. Bieber/Brady is baffled by the turn of events, and EasyPants uses the distraction to kick Bieber/Brady in the groin. He does not react.
Before he can raise the axe again, EasyPants leaps to her feet and brings his wig down over his face. Disoriented, he falls down struggling for air through the 72 pounds of hair. EasyPants leaps on top of him cramming the wig down his windpipe with the butt of his axe while her recently cleaved but still intact and beautiful Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant sways back and forth over his suffocated face.
As his twitches become weaker and farther apart, EasyPants spits through gritted teeth - "I'm right here. And I always will be. Bitch."
There is something wrong with Don.
I totally had EasyPants winning this one too. Clearly Captain Kay has crossed irretrievably into creepdom. Sensing certain doom after the bizarre tone of "and I always will be..." EasyPants decides to roll with it and act like she's smitten. Once his creepy defenses are down, she stabs him with her Loves Embrace Collection TM pendant. "Every Kill Begins with Kay"
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